Psycho
by Ladot
Summary: Bella's life has been filled with abuse. She's given up on feeling safe and protected. She's playing on the edge of insanity. Edward isn't sane in the head, never has been. He's the head of the Seattle mob and feared by all other mob bosses because of how unstable he is. Sometimes love and protection need a little crazy. Sometimes being crazy is the only way to be sane.
1. Chapter 1

**Mature content warning. Some scenes are not for everyone. This story contains scenes of rape and abuse. This story is a work of fiction. If you have any problem with this story no one is forcing you to read.**

 _ *****Bella *****_

It had happened. He had finally killed one of us. Well technically she had kill herself. She drowned her sorrows in whiskey and dilauded. I wish she had killed me too. I wish she would have killed us all. She could have poisoned the soup, but she chose the easy way. She chose to kill herself and only herself. Selfish bitch. Now here I was sitting at her wake trying to ignore all the fake sympathies from people who turned a blind eye to what was happening in the house. All my teachers were here to _''support''_ me, they had all seen the bruises. Where was all that _''support''_ then? I don't even know why anyone was here, they say they're here to say their finale goodbyes but they all had to know it would happen eventually.

I had said my final goodbyes when she was still alive. I said them every night. I knew one of us wouldn't wake up eventually. Now it was just a body in a coffin. I had gone up to the coffin to see her before. It wasn't her, she was gone, she wasn't in the coffin. All that was in the coffin was a cold body wearing a lipstick color my mother would be caught dead wearing. Which was suiting because she was dead. Phil had picked out the outfit so of course it was ugly. Her body didn't even look like her. I had even tried to smell her before her ''friends'' showed up. But Phil had walked in the room, I didn't want to be alone in the room with him, even if my mothers body was in there with us. It was dead, so it didn't count. It couldn't help me if I cried out. Not that my mother had ever helped when she was alive. I think I might be sadder that I don't know if she smells the same dead than she did when she was alive than I'm sad that she's dead.

I think I had loved her at some point in my life, she was my mother after all. When it had just been the two of us, after my dad Charlie had kicked us out and before she meet Phil. I was to young to remember much of that time, but I think I remember being happy and loving her. My dad kicked us out when I was 4, my mom and him had barely known each other when she got knocked up. He hadn't wanted a kid back then, still doesn't want one I think, I wouldn't know I haven't heard from him since then. If I had been a boy maybe he would have kept us, my mom use to say that he was sweet when she was pregnant, always planning what he would do with his boy. He had even made little wooden figures for his boy. I wasn't allowed to touch those when we were back in forks. When we left I had stolen 1 of those figures, a little wooden marching man. He was always with me, I kept him in my pocket or my purse when I had to wear a stupid dress, like the one I was wearing now. I don't actually know why I kept him, he was just a stupid reminder that I wasn't wanted. But I kept him with me everywhere I went.

'' Excuse me? Ms. Swan.'' Some lady I had never seen interrupted my rambling thoughts. She was probably another one of my mother's '' _friends''._ I just stared at her as I waited to hear her fake support.

'' My name is Mrs. Cope I'm with CPS. Child Protective Services. I know this is a tough time for you, and I hate to make it harder for you. But I'm here to take you to your dad in Forks.'' That's when Phil decided to show up.

'' Excuse me, I don't recognize you from around here. Were you one of Rennes old friends?''

'' Hello, you must be Mr. Dwyer. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm Mrs. Cope I'm with CPS. I was coming to see you after I had a talk with Isabella he- ''

''its just Bella'' I hated that name.

'' I'm sorry, I was just coming to talk to you after my chat with Bella here. Perhaps we could go somewhere more private to talk?''

'' Here is fine. What are you doing here? At my dead wife's funeral? Talking to my daughter, a minor, before you come and see me? Who called you? Isabella? She's been very distraught about her mothers passing. I don't know what she's told you, but she has a very big imagination. If you like we can make an appointment to talk at a more appropriate ti- ''

'' Sir, no one has made any accusations. I'm here to take Bella to her biological fathers' home. He is the next of kin. You and Ms. Higgenbottom were never legally married and no petition for guardianship ever brought forward. And as I was informed Ms. Higgenbottom never wrote a will, so in the eyes of the law, Bella's legal guardian is her father, Charlie Swan.'' I knew they had filled in those papers years ago. My mother hadn't sent them… I couldn't believe my ears. My mother had finally helped. After all the years of abuse and me crying out for help, she had finally helped. She had heard my pleas and freed me from Phil. That retched man had stolen my childhood, my innocence.

'' Wait, I have been caring for Isabella since she was 5. I have treated her as my daughter for all these years. She's my only family left. And you would take her away from me? She doesn't even know Charlie. I'm all she has left. She's a disturbed child. Change isn't good for her. She like order.'' He had grabbed me by the shoulders at some point in his shitty fake speech. His fingers were digging painfully into my shoulder, he was sending me a message to play along with his sick game. Today I didn't feel like playing, so I wouldn't.

'' Sir, I understand where you are coming from. And I will provide you with all the necessary information to contest the courts ruling. But for now, I'm going to have to take Bella. Her father has been notified and has expressed his desire to be reunited with his daughter as soon as possible. We must leave soon. We have a plan to catch. Bella please go pack your belongings.'' That was my que to escape. When I tried to leave Phil only dug his fingers in deeper.

'' Can I have a moment alone with Isabella?''

'' Of course. We have to leave for the airport in an hour. I'll go make some calls and will be back in an hour to get Bella. A moving truck will be available if she needs. But all furniture she will need will be in forks already.'' She left to go make those phone calls, leaving me alone with Phil.

'' Let's go pack your bags upstairs together. We only have an hour left together. Let's spend some father-daughter time.'' This wasn't a request, it was an order. I knew what father-daughter time was with Phil and I didn't want any. But this was the last time I told myself then I would be across the country from him. I tried to go up the stairs as slowly as possible to waste as much time as possible in the hour we had but Phil wouldn't have that. He pushed me up the stairs at running pace. When we made it to my room he pushed me to the bad and slammed the door shut. He put the bolt in place and turned to me.

'' I was planning on fucking you over your mother's casket tonight. But now we're out of time and there's still to many people downstairs. '' he kept his belt in is hand after he took of his pants. He was still soft, so I knew he needed to hurt me to get it up. Phil got off on my fear and pain. Since I had no fear now knowing I was leaving he had to use pain.

'' You seem to think this is the end of us. But you are so wrong. Ill get you back whether its now or when you're 18 and no longer under his roof. You think he's gonna keep you longer than necessary?'' the metal part of his belt was hitting me over and over. But I refused to make a sound. As soon as I would make a sound he would get hard and then he would hurt me worse than that belt ever could. The belt was ripping at my dress and at my back. I could feel the blood starting to run down my body.

'' You think anyone would ever want a stupid slut like you? You'll come running back to me like your mother always did.'' He had stopped with the belt. He knew he couldn't do to much with it or he would get caught. He threw the belt on the floor. He was starting to get hard. The blood was helping even if I didn't make a sound. He ripped open what was left of dress and ripped of what little I had left.

'' Red looks so much better on you than black.'' He was spreading the blood all over me. Phil liked to taste my blood.

'' You were always prettier in red than your mother. She was no fun. As soon as she saw the belt she would cry and plead with me. You. You always resisted. So when you finally break down its so much sweeter. You remember the first time we made love? You were so small I thought I had ripped you in half. And that made me so much harder. I could feel your blood running down my cock. It was like a waterfall.'' He had started digging his fingers into the cuts he had just made with the belt. I couldn't do it anymore. I had to make a sound. Just a small sound. Just a little whimper. Maybe he wouldn't notice. He did. He always does.

'' Ah. There she is. My little slut. I know you like this as much as I do.'' He took his dick in his hand and used my blood to pump himself into a full erection. As he slammed into me he took my breast in his mouth and bit hard. Hard enough to break the skin.

'' That's so you can see you mine every morning in the mirror.'' He told me as he shuddered and finished inside me.

'' Get yourself cleaned up. You have 15 minutes left to get ready. Don't take any of the things I got you. Those things stay here till you come back.'' I was in so much pain. I hadn't realized how long I had held out before making noise. With the belt this was maybe a personal best. But it was over. This was the last time. I would never come back here, I would kill myself before I did. I grab my school bag and emptied what was in it. I grabbed my favorite gray hoodie and my first aide kit and went to clean myself up. I didn't have much too pack anyways. I would need that much time.

When I was cleaned up as much as possible without help I put my hoodie on and went back to my room. Grabbed what little was mine and put it in my bag. Everything hurt as I moved. I grabbed my purse and reached in for my little marching man. He was all I really needed to bring, I slipped him into my hoodie pocket, so I could feel him against my stomach and continued to pack. When I was done packing I had my backpack filled, my purse filled and a small half full gym bag. I didn't want anything else. I walked down the stairs to find everyone gone from the wake. Phil and Mrs. Cope were talking near the front door.

'' This is the number you can reach me at, if ever you have any questions on the paper work for the appeal.'' She handed him a card and turn towards me.

'' Is that all you have Bella?'' she looked at me with sad eyes.

'' Yes. It's all I need.''

'' She talks! I was starting to think you didn't like me.'' She told me with a smile. I realized I hadn't said a word to her since meeting her. Oh well. I'm supposed to be sad about my mother.

'' Say goodbye to your step-dad and then we'll be off. Ill go wait in the car. Give me your bags.'' She stepped out of the house with the only things I owned. I tried to get out with her, but Phil stopped me.

'' Think of this as a vacation. Don't get too comfortable, you'll be back. I'll get you back.''

 _ ***** Edward *****_

I'm so bored. This guy was telling me everything I wanted to know. I liked it better when they didn't talk, that way I could have some fun.

'' Emmett, you and Jasper can stop asking questions I want to have some fun.''

'' B..But I've told you everything you wanted to know! You said if I talked you wouldn't hurt me'' the guy was pissing himself. If he kept this up I would piss myself from laughing.

'' Riley, Riley, Riley. I believe my exact words were. If you talked and I liked what you said I wouldn't hurt, you. However, I'm bored, and I don't like being bored. Now Riley what do you think brought on my boredom?''

'' …''

'' you have no idea? Emmett. What do you think is making me bored?''

'' I think that Riley is boring you cuz you're a crazy fucker that likes to play with people.'' Emmett always had a comment to say about my state of mind.

'' Emmett stop insulting Edward, one day your friendship won't be enough. Edward you told the kid you weren't gonna hurt him. Don't go around breaking your word. '' Fucking Jasper always trying to reason with me. Too bad I didn't care right now.

'' Fine. I did say that. I said I wouldn't and I didn't but now I'm saying that I will hurt him. So if you don't want to watch... leave. I have new toys I want to play with.''

'' Eww. Edward TMI. I do not need to know what kind of sex games your crazy mind is into.''

'' Emmett. I'm already in a mood cuz this guy is a pussy if you don't leave you'll die too.'' Apparently, that was enough for both Jasper and Emmett to be on their way.

'' Edward, Alice told me to be at your house for dinner at 6. Don't be late you know it upsets your mother and sister. I don't have nice evenings with my girlfriend when she's upset. So please do me a favor and be there on time. Its 3 now so you still have a couple hours before you have to clean yourself up.'' Shit I forgot about supper with my mom tonight.

'' ye. Whatever Jasper I'll be there. But please don't talk about _nice_ evenings with my baby sister. I don't want to kill you.'' That made them both laugh but it also made them both leave. Good.

'' Riley. Looks like its just you and me. I got a set of carving knives for Christmas. Wanna see them?''

'' Please, Edward we went to school together. I told you everything you wanted to know. Don't kill me.''

'' I won't kill you till you and I both want you dead. You will be begging for death soon, don't worry. As for the fact that we know each other well that's besides the fact. You sold shit that wasn't ours in our territory. Why would you do that? You stupid fuck. I actually prefer playing with people I know. I get a good laugh while they beg for their life. Just like you're doing.'' This was going to be fun.


	2. Chapter 2

_*****Bella*****_

Well, I was in Forks. It wasn't exactly pretty but Phil wasn't here so as far as I was concerned Forks was paradise. When I got here last week Charlie made it pretty clear I wasn't actually wanted here.

- _one week ago-_

'' Bella this is your new home. You probably don't remember it much since you left here so young, but I'm told it hasn't changed much. Here's my card if you need anything and don't worry everything will be fine. You have a loving father waiting impatiently for you in there and a loving step-father waiting impatiently back in Arizona to see you again. You should see some of the cases I have to deal with, some kids have to live in horrible places because no one from their families can take care of them. You have two loving dads, you lucky girl! Now go on in before I steel your smooth-talking daddy-cop.'' Sure, I have two loving dads. One loves me so much it took my mother dying for him to actually want to see me again and the other is some sick psycho who likes to fuck me till I bleed. I grabbed my bags and walked up to the house.

I did have some memories left of this place. I remember the front door shutting as my mother begged not to be thrown out of the house. I remember the hope in her eyes when it opened again but quickly change when I was thrown out after. I remember the yard and sleeping in it when I would do something wrong, like crying when I got hurt ' _stupid fucking kid. If it had been a boy maybe it would have been able to walk without tripping everywhere.'_ I remember wanting to touch the wooden marching men and having my arm broken when he pushed me down the stairs when I actually did touch one of them.I grabbed my little marching man and remembered the good memories from this place before I walked in. I remembered that I didn't know Phil when I was here. I remembered that when I went to bed I didn't have to lock my door. I remembered that if I followed the rules and stayed out of the way I was left alone. I hoped to make more good memories like this. I pushed the door opened and walked in.

'' you were supposed to be here an hour ago.''

'' There was traffic coming in from the airport. ''

'' Do I look like I fucking care? When's your birthday again? Don't actually care just know that whenever it is you can live here till your 18th then its out you go. You can pay for your own shit if you need shit. I don't want you doing no whoring around, I'm the police chief and I can't have my kid acting like her whore of a mother. I don't want to see any of your shit around the house. No whore stuff in my bathroom. I expect supper every night when I get home. I'm not here on the weekends so don't make supper then. Don't want you wasting food. My uniform has to be clean and ironed before I leave for work. Keep this place clean. Beer always in the fridge. You go to school, healthy or sick. Stay out of my way. Your rooms upstairs on the left. Questions? I don't care figure it out. I already ate today. School starts tomorrow.''

Well what a welcome home speech. He didn't even look at me as he said it. I walked up the stairs and to the left. I opened the door to my room and saw that it had been turned into a storage type room. There was bed, but it was covered in boxes. I started clearing the boxes of the bed. If I put them all in the corner and threw a sheet over it, maybe put some candles or some other decoration shit on it, it wouldn't look so bad. I put them all in the corner, threw the sheet over it and well it still looked like shit. Whatever, it filled the room. It's not like I had my own stuff to put in here anyways. I opened the drawers and lo and behold they were full. I just needed one maybe two drawers so if I squished everything into the two bottom one's I would have more than enough room. Well I was done unpacking. That took all of 15 minutes, including moving all the boxes to the corner. That was that.

 _-Present -_

Apparently, my mourning period was over, so I got to start school… in the middle of the semester in the middle of junior year. Great. At least everyone would already have groups of friends, I won't have to try too hard to avoid people trying to be my friend. I put on my favorite grey hoodie, painted dark black circle around my eyes, people tended to avoid me more when I did that, and I grabbed my school bag. I listened to see if Charlie was still home. I learnt that when he said, 'stay out of my way' he meant he didn't want to see me, ever. I was fine with that especially since I learnt that when he did see me he had one hell of a quick hand.

I was actually glad I was with him, the difference between him and Phil was that Charlie didn't come looking for me if I avoided him, he also didn't like all of me which was different than Phil who liked my screams, my blood and my body when it was under him. I could get used to this life in Forks. There was no sound coming from downstairs, so I assumed Charlie was gone for work.

Charlie was the chief of police here in Forks. He was a hard-working citizen, who showed his devotion to his town. The few times I had gone into town this passed week no one was shy to tell me about how my papa the chief had single handedly run drugs and crime out of town. He was one loved man. What a load of shit. I read the papers, apparently four years ago trouble just up and left this town. One morning there was a town whore, a town druggy, a town dealer, a town everything and then the next morning no more crime. All gone never to be seen or heard from again. No way that good for nothing man had anything to do about it. But the town loved him for it anyway. I grabbed an apple from the fridge and got out of the house. It was raining, again. It seemed like all it did here was rain. I pulled my hoodie up and started my long walk to school.

 _ *****Edward*****_

These two idiots were getting on my last nerve. I don't even know who they belong to, but there not mine.

'' So, you see, if you lend us the money for this new club, it could serve as a front for your dealings. You would have VIP access to all the girls from the front and you could use the club as a way to launder your money. So, you see sir it would be a win-win situa- '' My knife landed smack in the middle of his throat. I could see the blood bubbling out around my knife. I couldn't stop myself from going to touch it. To feel the last warmth this man had ever had slowly leave his body. His blood felt like silk in my hand. I took the knife out and more blood ran down his body and onto my chair. I had really liked that chair, now it would stain, I would have to get rid of its twin too since they were a pair. I looked over sadly at said twin chair… and shit I forgot the guy came with a friend. Silly me.

'' what was the first thing I told you guys when you came in?'' the guy was just sitting there looking terrified. I hated when they didn't answer. I pointed the knife I had thrown at his partners neck to him.

'' Fine, I'll remind you. I told you not to call me sir. It makes me feel icky and old. Anyways, you guys… well I guess it's just you now. '' I just killed his partner. That made me laugh for a solid minute.

'' You get it. It's just you cuz I killed your buddy. Hahahahahahahaha. It's so funny cuz you guys just came in here together and asking for money together and he threw the pitch. You never spoke once and you get to leave with all the money and your life when he's dead. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he got the shitty end out this business deal. Wouldn't you?'' Again, with the silence. He didn't even find this a bit amusing. He didn't even say thank you that I was letting him open his shitty club.

'' Ok. Now listen up. I don't like being ignored. It's rude and frankly quite mean. I just told you I was giving you the money and the ok to start your club and I get silence in return. That's not a show of good manners. What would your mother say? Now I've killed for better manners, but I want this club so if you apologize and mean it, I might forgive you.''

'' I'm s…sorry si- I mean Edward. Thank you, Edward.'' The groveling. I rolled my eyes I hated when I was playing nice and they still acted like I was crazy. I just agreed to give him millions of dollars to start his club. Jasper would be proud of me. I was playing nice even if it wasn't for something I wanted for myself.

'' Get out. I agreed to play nice for a friend of mine so get out before I decide I don't want to anymore.'' The guy ran out so fast I would bet on him if he ever went to the Olympics. I called Emmett. I needed new chairs.

'' I need new chairs. A twin set.''

'' Didn't you just get a new set like yesterday?'' always with the questions this one.

'' Ye well now I need new ones. If you're with Jasper tell him I played nice.'' I could here Jasper in the background mumbling that if had played nice I wouldn't need new chairs. Why weren't these guys dead yet? Better yet why were they my friends again? Probably cuz Emmett was there with me when I found my dead mother in my room and didn't go running away when I took the knife and stabbed her a couple times. Emmett knew I wasn't right in the head back then, but he still stuck with me, so I guess he gets points for that. Jasper should have been dead years ago when I found him in bed with my baby sister but noo… apparently, she loved him even though he was years older and he would be a good friend to me… just cuz she was right 4 years ago about him being a good friend didn't I wouldn't kill him the second he hurt her.

'' Edward? Are you even listening to me?''

'' yes.'' Even I didn't believe that lie.

'' ok, ye, sure and I've never killed for pussy.''

'' I was just thinking about why I don't kill you and Jasper for things I kill other people for.''

'' love you too Edward. I was saying that we'll get you new chairs but chairs that can be washed. That way when you kill a dude for sneezing, we don't have to buy new ones.''

'' I didn't kill that guy for sneezing. The guy sneezed without covering his mouth. He spit all over my desk. I don't know one sane person who wouldn't have opposed to that."

'' Edward there's opposing and ripping out someone's eye and shoving a pencil in the socket…''

'' Whatever. Today there were two of them and I let one go plus I gave him the money for his club.''

'' Good job. I guess… Jasper wants to know if you're picking up Alice from school today or he will. Her car is still at the mechanics.''

'' Why is her car still there? Weren't you supposed to go get it earlier?''

'' That hot blond mechanic wasn't working so I'm going to get it later when she is.''

'' I thought you never fucked the same cunt twice? I have to stay in town for the week. I'm gonna crash here so he can go get her. There's been some shit going on with the girls, I'll hang around for a bit, kill a few guys see who's been messing with my property. Tell Alice I'll be back by Thursday, she'll have the house to herself till then.''

'' Need me to come down to Seattle for a bit? I could help with the girls if you know what I mean.''

'' As long as someone stays in Forks with Alice I don't mind.'' I could hear Emmett mumble something about me not getting what he means before I hung up. I'm not stupid. I knew he meant fuck them, the difference is that I don't care what he means not that I don't get what he means.

 _ ***** Bella*****_

So much for scaring people away with my makeup. By the time I had gotten to school it had run down my face and I just looked like a drowned kitten. I could hear the snickers from some of the girls, rumors ha already started that I was some sad emo girl that cut herself because my mother killed herself. The only true part was that my mom had killed herself. It wasn't even lunch yet and I had a whole fake story surrounding me.

Apparently my mother ran away with me to join a cult when I was 4 years old, this cult had planned a mass suicide but we had missed it so my mother killed herself forgetting about me, leaving me to go back to my father who loved me so much he convinced me not to kill myself but the urge was too much so I cut myself to numb the pain… whoever came up with that should take creative writing as an elective they would get great grades.

One girl had tried to be nice to me but when she saw that I didn't want anything to do with her she understood and left. I could like her, she was in some of my classes her name was Angela. From what I gathered, she was the pastors' daughter, she was nice to everyone, but she mostly stayed by herself or with her boyfriend Ben. I had English class next, I think Angela was in that class too. I'd try and sit next to her, that way everyone else would leave me alone. When I got to the class I didn't see Angela and I didn't know where she would sit so I sat in the seat closest to the door, so I could leave as soon as the class ended. Right before second bell rang some over hyper girl sat down in the seat next to mine. I could feel the energy coming off her.

'' Hi! I'm Alice. You must be new here because no one ever sits near me if they can help it, let alone sit in my place. But don't worry you can sit there. It's just the place I always sit at. My brother always tells me to sit near the door, so I can get out fast if anything happens. But my boyfriend tells me to sit at the back, so no one can see me. I've known my brother longest which is why I usually sit near the door. You know brother knows best! Hahaha, I just love that movie mother knows best. Do you know it? It's from the 90's. My older brother is actually my half-brother, we share the same dad but not the same mom. Do you have any siblings?'' Who was this girl. I don't even think she took a breath during that whole speech. I didn't want to give her any ideas about friendship, so I just nodded at her and opened my notebook.

'' Oh, I guess you've heard about me already. It's okay if you want to switch place. I won't mind. I have to stay near the door though. So, if you don't want to sit near me you're the one that's going to have to move.'' She looked so sad. She looked like I had kicked her puppy. I knew the look in her eyes. It was a look I had in mine at one point. It was the look of someone that wanted to be wanted.

'' Hi, I'm Bella.'' Those three little words seemed to bring out such joy in her eyes, I actually envied her for a bit. I'm glad I could bring her something before it was too late and all she felt was the darkness that I felt. If sitting next to her could save her from it. I would sit next to her every day, hopefully in silence. She looked like she wanted to talk but the teacher saved me before that could happen.

'' Alright class, settle down this week we are going to do group project, Alice you can do it individually if you prefer. The project will be an English slash Hist- ''

'' Excuse me. Mr. Mason? Could I actually buddy up for this project? ''

'' Alice, we've had this discussion before…''

'' I know but now we're an even number and Bella will be my partner. She doesn't mind. Do you?'' Again with the look. I didn't want to be with anyone for this project anyways. I didn't want to make friends and since Alice had already decided that me sitting next to her meant I was her friend, and she seemed honest. I liked honest people. I might as well do it with her.

'' Sure Mr. Mason. I would love to do this project with Alice if that's all right.'' That got the whispers to start. Great I thought I was already getting enough attention.

'' All right then. Alice, you and Bella can work together. So, as I was saying this will be an English slash History assignment…'' I stopped listening at this point. I went back to my doodles that I had already started earlier. My drawings were always the same, swirls of black and red it looked like a dance of blood and darkness fighting for dominance. I was so focused on my drawing that I didn't notice a note being put on my desk. Alice had to kick my chair to get me to notice it.

 _Want to come over after school to do the project?_

 _Can't._

 _How about tomorrow?_

 _Can't_

 _How about this weekend?_

I couldn't blow her off forever, we did have to get together for the project. Charlie was gone on the weekends, he went fishing with a buddy of his. I guess I could go.

 _Ok._

Her little squeal of joy was all the confirmation I needed. I didn't bother to read the next note she sent I just went back to my drawing. Sometimes I could see my drawing move. I could feel the emotion coming off it. It was despair. I guess this was all that was left in me. When I was younger I wanted to be an artist, my drawings use to have color and hope, but Phil took it all away when I was 11. Since then my drawings have lost their color and the hope was replaced by doom, sorrow and anguish. The lunch bell finally rang I just wanted to go outside and be alone for a bit.

'' So, Bella, want to eat lunch with me? I usually sit alone except when Angela sits with me. She sits with everyone and doesn't want to make me feel left out. she sits with me two thursdays of the week. She's really nice but I know it makes her uncomfortable to do so. She just does it cuz she's trying to be a good Christian. But for me it's nice I have someone to sit with. Sometimes my boyfriend comes to pick me up for lunch. So, I'm not always alone for lunch. But he works so he doesn't come that often.'' I felt like I ran a marathon every time she talked to me. At least I didn't have to talk much. Maybe that's why no one sat with her, they didn't have the energy. If I sat with her she could fill in all the talking and she could keep the other people away.

'' I was going to go sit outside but you can come if you want.''

'' Thank you, Bella! You know besides Angela you're the only person that's agreed to sit with me since I moved here 4 years ago. I moved here with my brother, he felt the city wasn't good for me. But I had friends there. My parents are still there most of the time. My dad's a doctor and my mom does interior design. She's were I get my fashion gene from. I'm going to be a couture designer. '' I'm sure she had more to say but she stopped when two preppy looking bitches showed up. I could tell she didn't like them much.

'' Hi. Isabella, right? Alice. Do you mind if we talk to Isabella here for just a sec?'' I did not like these people. They were just as fake as the people back in Arizona that pretended nothing was wrong in our household.

'' um.. sure. Bella I'll be outside'' Alice walked away, and I could tell from the way her shoulders were that she thought I wouldn't meet her after I talked to these girls. Even if I had planned on not meeting her I sure as hell would now.

'' So Isabella, I'm Jessica and this is Lauren. We heard about your mother's death and we are so sorry. If there's anything we can do, you let us know. We just came by to warn you about Alice. She's a bit strange and that's fine but her brother is a psycho. Rumors are he's involved in organized crime. I hear he is suspected of murdering some guy. I'm sure your dad being who he is wouldn't want you hanging around with the likes of him or his family. Being new, it's understandable not to have known about it, I'm sure Mr. Mason will let you join another group. No one wants to be dragged into the Cullen family drama which is why the teachers never force students to work with Alice.'' Wow. Just wow. What bitches. Who did they think they were, pretending to care about me when all they cared about was spreading more rumors about Alice.

'' Ye, ok it's Bella by the way. And thanks for the info but I already agreed to do the project with Alice and I actually like Alice. I wouldn't want to hurt her feelings. So, I'm gonna go eat now if you don't mind.'' I turned towards the doors Alice left from. I hated fake people and Alice seemed real so she was my best bet at this moment.

When I went to leave Lauren grabbed my arm. I didn't like being grabbed or touched. It scared me. I wasn't supposed to be scared here. She had better have a good reason for grabbing me because now I was mad. I took a calming breath before turning around. I don't think the anger had left my eyes yet. I knew the fright hadn't left my body yet because I could still feel my heart in my ears. When I turned around Lauren saw the anger and let go right away. At least she saw the anger but didn't feel my fear. I didn't need people knowing I was scared.

'' Just wanted to let you know that the last person that became friends with Alice ended up a face on the side of a milk carton.'' After that comment the both left. I turned once more to the doors and walked out. I noticed Alice was sitting with her shoulders slumped on a bench to the left. I walked up to the bench and sat down. She looked like she had been crying.

'' You're here.'' I just nodded. That might have been the shortest sentence to ever come out of her mouth.

'' Didn't they tell you about my family? About my brother? About Charlotte, that went missing after a fight with me? Why would you still want to eat lunch with me? No one wants to be my friend. Don't be my friend because of pity. Please that would be worse than you ignoring me like everyone else.'' Yup. I liked her. I was going to be her friend.

'' Look, Alice. I don't care about what other people say or what your family maybe does. I know that what people say isn't always the truth. You say the truth and I like that. I like you. Those bitches didn't know anything. I come from a place that's run by a biker gang. The biker gang code says you have to protect the family and town. And I know that's not true. So, unless I see it or someone that actually knows the truth and tells me, I'm going to make my own mind. Ok? ''

'' ok. But just so you don't come into this without knowing the facts, my brother is a bit on the crazy side. But don't worry he won't hurt you. He knows the consequences. Do you want to turn our project into a sleepover? I have the house to myself this weekend, so I promise he wont even be there. We can watch movies and paint our nails and have pillow fights, talk about boys… what else do girls do at sleepovers? I've never had one…We can have makeovers! Not that you need one, but it could be fun. I have lots of cloths we can do a fashion show and- ''

'' Alice! How about we just do movies and see how it goes. I'm not much for all that girly stuff. Ok?''

'' so you'll come?'' I Nodded, and she grabbed me so tight I could barley breath. This could be fun. I haven't had fun in forever. I don't even know if I remember how to have fun.


	3. Chapter 3

_*****Bella*****_

I was actually looking forward to this weekend with Alice. I was eating everyday with Alice and I liked her more and more. She talked about everything and nothing at the same time. She understood from the beginning that I didn't talk very much so she filled in for me. She talked about her boyfriend Jasper a lot and I felt like I knew him personally. He was the calm to her storm. She said they could have conversations without saying a word and for Alice, to me, that seemed like a miracle. This week was going great, I hadn't seen Charlie except to give him his supper every night. I did everything I was supposed to so, we had no confrontation. I could really learn to like this place. I could feel myself start to heal.

Charlie had left a note saying his fishing buddy and his son would be coming over for supper, I had to make enough for all of them. The note also said I should leave it in the oven for them and spend the night in my room. I had no problem with that. I was making them a casserole, it would be easy for them to serve themselves and not much dishes left over after. I put the casserole in the oven, set the timer so it wouldn't burn and mad sure there was enough beer in the fridge for all three men.

I grabbed my _Wuthering Heights_ book and went to my room. Tomorrow I would be going to my first sleepover. Did I bring my own pillow? A sleeping bag? I would have to go buy one in town before I walked over to the Cullen's. Alice had given me her number and told me to text her if I had any preferences on food, but I didn't have a phone, so I told her anything was fine. But now I wish I had a phone, so I could text her my questions. Well this book wasn't going to get read tonight. I took out my sketchpad and opened my charcoal box. The reds and blacks were close to becoming stumps, all the other colors looked bran spanking new. I took out my reds and blacks and got ready to draw. As I looked at the blank page and my charcoals, something seemed off. Something was missing. Drawing had never been missing something. It was my escape, my paradise. Maybe I was too excited to draw? I started packing my charcoals when the brand new yellow charcoal starred into my soul. That's what was missing, some yellow. Alice had brought yellow back into my art.

My new drawing looked like my typical drawings, except if you looked closely you could see some yellow trying to force itself in the corners. It was a perfect representation of my current outlook on life. Still full of sadness but with happiness trying to find its way in. I looked over at my alarm clock and saw it was already past midnight. This sketch took longer than I thought. I could still hear Charlie and his company downstairs. By the sounds of it they were a couple beers in. I grabbed my bathroom bag and went to get ready for bed.

I didn't notice the man sitting on my bed when I first got back to my room. I put my bag away and took off my pants. That's when I noticed him.

'' Who the fuck are you? And what the fuck are you doing in here?''

'' Don't worry I didn't touch anything. '' I just looked at him. He hadn't answered my questions yet.

'' I'm Jacob. Billy's son. Your casserole was great.''

'' You're in my room to tell me my casserole was great?''

'' No, No. Shit I'm doing this all wrong, aren't I?''

'' I'm going to guess yes, even though I still don't know why you are here.'' He had gotten closer to me during this conversation he was now between me and the door.

'' Shit, ye. Well your dad told me you were just like your mom. So, like, how much do you charge?'' Did he really just ask me how much I charge? And from the state of his pants, I knew what he meant.

'' Get out of my room. My dead, Mother and I are not and have never been prostitutes!''

'' Your dad said you opened your legs for anyone, just like your mom. Does that mean you're just a whore that does it for free?'' Gone was his shy boy persona. He was making his way towards me with an angry scrawl on his face. He roughly grabbed my face and licked my cheek.

'' You think you're better than me? Is that why you won't have me? Or is it some game? You like the chase."

"I'll scream''

"They're both passed out drunk. But your dad said so himself, he doesn't care what happens to you, he already knows you spread your legs wider than your moms. And from what I hear she could do the split."

"Please. Don't." He threw me on the bed. When I tried to crawl away he grabbed my ankle. He pulled his dick out of his pants. I tried to fight him off. But when he started fucking me, I just gave up. From my position I could see my drawing, the one with the yellow. I closed my eyes and turned away from it. I would never see yellow in my mind again. When he finished he threw a used condom on my chest, at least I would be protected from his STD's. How nice of him. I didn't even notice he had put one on.

"I knew you liked it. As soon as my cock touched your pussy, I could hear you moaning. Here." He threw a twenty on the table and walked out. When I heard the front door close downstairs I got up and went to take another shower. I was supposed to be safe here. Nowhere is safe. I would never be safe. Safety was a lie. I don't like lies. Lies are bad. Safe is a lie. Safe is bad. The only true thing is death. Once you're dead you're dead. Dead is the only truth. I want the truth. I want to be dead. My mother was right.

I went downstairs and grabbed a lighter. Back upstairs in my room, I took my new drawing and put the lighter to the edge.

"You're a lie" Once the flame took hold, I let the paper fall into my waste basket and went to bed. The fire would kill me.

 _ *****Edward*****_

I liked blood. That's why the girls at the club didn't like serving me. I would make them cut each other. It's not like I was killing them, and they would all have the rest of the night off. I would give them the supplies for first aid, they never needed stiches, sometimes butterfly bandages, but that's it and they were paid more than they make in a week for just one tiny hour with me. That's why I preferred the Denali sisters, they were masochist. I don't think they were actual sisters but as far as the customers care it didn't matter. They knew their art. They charged by the stich and by the hit. They worked for themselves. I tried to get them to join my girls but the simply refused. Said they liked the danger being unprotected brought. Kinky bitches. Tonight, only Tanya was available, so I would have to get one of my girls from the club to come join the fun. I liked watching the horror flash on their faces when I told them what to do. Ah. Here they come. Tanya walked in knowing what to do. She got on her knees and crawled over.

"Do you wish to use mine or have you brought your own?"

"I've got mine. New girl. Go into the black bag by the door and pick a knife. Whichever you want. Come to me on your knees with it between your teeth." She looked terrified. I loved this. She looked in the bag and moved some things around. Just pick one you stupid bitch. I saw her put a pocket knife between her teeth. No this is not how I play.

"Grab a real knife." I hope she wasn't this stupid the whole night. This would seriously kill the mood.

"um…sir th-"

"Do not call me sir! How old do I look?'' Why did everyone have to call me sir. I hated it. My name was Edward. Nothing else.

"There's no other knife in here…" I got up to check. Shit I left my play knives at home. I had some decency, I didn't use my play knives to kill and I didn't use my killing knives to play. What kind of a monster would do that. I'd have to go get them if I was staying here all week. I had time to go home on Saturday.

"Fine. Tanya give the little lady your knife." Tanya reached into her boot and took out her 5-inch black spear point Smith & Wesson fixed boot knife. It wasn't my favorite knife. It was tiny. But it did the job. That other girl was terrified. I could tell she was new here, she had heard all the scary Edward stories but had never been around when I was here. Aro ran this club. I think he sent me the new ones on purpose, to scare them into behaving. I'm pretty sure I was a treat, _if you don't behave I'll give you to Edward next time he comes. Tell him you have no limits this time_ or something of the likes. Tanya gave her knife to the girl and told her to be careful with it or she would get cut. Just like Tanya to get the girl even more scared. Hahahaha, I loved this.

"Cut her clothes off. It's okay if you nip the skin. I like that" I think the sharpness of the knife surprised the girl. Her hand slipped a bit and cut into Tanya.

"You cut her. You naughty girl. Now you must clean her up. Every time she bleeds lick away the blood. When you're done come sit on my cock."

"Ride me. Don't stop till I come. No matter what. Tanya, I want a bloody pussy. Can you set that up for me?" Tanya grabbed the high stool and sat on it. It was the perfect height for her pussy to be right in the girl's face.

"Now new girl. I want you to keep that pussy bleeding and I don't want you to waste a drop. If your cut stops bleeding, make a new one." She placed the knife and made a small cut that barley bled.

"Bigger!" She went to make another cut and I bit her neck hard enough to bleed. The bite startled her, so she made a very deep cut. Tanya moaned. I knew it was deep enough. I licked the blood away from her neck. This was almost perfect. I would go get my knives and use this girl again but with my knives. I was getting close I could feel it. I took the knife from the girl's hand and grabbed her face. I attacked her mouth with mine. I could taste the blood and the pussy, and it was perfect. I stabbed Tanya in the thigh as I came. I'm sure Tanya came at the same time. I pushed the girl off me to the floor.

"Get out." The girl got out so fast she left her clothes in the room. Tanya grabbed her cut underwear and held it against her bleeding thigh. She grabbed her knife from my hand and started to limp away. She would need stiches.

"Saturday, you and her again. Send me the bill for tonight." I told her as she left. I couldn't wait for Saturday. I had to go get my knives. I closed my eyes and fell asleep with blood still on my lips.

 _ *****Bella*****_

I woke up to my alarm. Fuck, the fire didn't take. I'd just have to do like my mom and take some pills and wine. Don't think we had any wine here but whiskey would do and whiskey we had. I walked into the bathroom and grabbed some naproxen. That should work. I went downstairs to the liquor cabinet and went to grab some whiskey.

"You steeling from me?" Shit. Charlie wasn't gone yet.

"No. Just seeing if I need to buy more from the store." He got up so fast I wasn't ready for the gut punch he gave me.

"Lying Bitch. I saw your pills in your hand. You trying to kill yourself in my house. With my things. If you're going to kill yourself do it out of my town and with your own shit. Cuz if ever you try here again, and you fuck it up you'll be sure that will be the end of your comfortable life. I'll lock you up somewhere you can't hurt yourself till you wish you were dead. Kill yourself out of town it's best for both of us." He grabbed the pills and walked out the door. Did he just threaten a suicidal teen she would wish to be dead? What the actual fuck. I'm not sure if this counts as caring. No, he did tell me to kill myself out of town. How am I going to go out of town? I have no car.

The house phone rang. I'm assuming it was Alice to make sure I was awake. I didn't want to talk to her, so I just let it ring. The doorbell rang. I went to answer the door. And there was Alice in all her glory.

"Surprise! I'm here to pick you up! I was talking to Jasper last night and he made a comment which made me think that you didn't have a car. And since everyone knows the chief goes fishing every week that meant you were walking. Are you crazy Bella? That's like a 10-mile hike in the rain. You should have called. Talking about called why didn't you answer your house phone and why don't I have your cell number yet?"

"Hi, can we cancel. I'm not really in the mood." I think I broke Alice. She was speechless. I really did not want to go. But Alice had probably spent lots of money and time on this sleepover. If I was going to kill myself before the end of the week, I might as well give her this.

"Fine let me go get my things."

"Yay! I knew you were joking. I have so many things planned out but first we have to do are project because if we don't it'll never get done. Then we can…" I stopped listening to her at this point. I put my trusty hoodie on. My little marching man was still in the pocket. I should put him back with the others before I went ahead with my plans. He belonged with his other men. I'm going to look for them. When I do find them, I am going to put my marching man with them.

''Bella? Are you okay?"

"Ye. Sorry. I'm ready. Let's go." It was pouring outside. I'm glad that Alice picked me up. I was already miserable, I didn't want to be wet and miserable. We finally made it to the Cullen house and it was huge.

"Let me give you the tour." Alice was giving me a tour, but I couldn't pay attention everything was so perfect. It couldn't be true. It had to be a lie. I was getting mad at Alice for showing me lies. Why should she be aloud lies? I wanted these kinds of lies too, which made me mad at myself. Lies are bad. The always hide something. The prettier the lie the uglier the truth was.

"So, Bella what do think of my room?" We had made it to the second floor without me even noticing. Her room was pink. Everything in her room was pink. The walls, the carpet, the bed, the curtains. Everything was pink.

"I know it's probably not your style, but I love it! It's the only place that's mine and just mine. I picked out everything in this room. Edward doesn't like it but I don't care. If I can't go in his room, he can't come in mine. I told you right? Don't go in his room. Remember? I pointed it out to you before. He gets crazy if someone just stares at his door. Edward is kind of weird. Everyone say he isn't right in the head but to me he's just right. He acts like every big brother, he protects me and loves me in his own way. Isn't that what counts? Oh no! I forgot my laptop charger downstairs. Can you go get it? It's in the office. I'll get everything else ready. You remember the office?"

"Ye sure I'll go get it." How hard can finding and office be? I walked down the stairs. There was a closed door to my left that I remembered her pointing it out. Must be the office. I opened the door and it wasn't the office. It had a huge bed in it. This must be her brothers room. I went to close the door when something shiny caught my eye. This would only take a second. Just a quick peek. I walked into the room. It had a smell that screamed man. There were a couple items of clothing on the floor but other then that it was clean. I got closer to the shiny object that caught my attention and noticed it was an intricate knife. It had details etched into the blade. And a blade it was, it was at least a foot long. I went to pick up the blade and noticed there were several knives on the table. All more intricate than the next. I went to touch one. Suddenly there was a smoking hole in the wall by my head and my ear was ringing. Someone had tried to shoot me. I barely had time to be disappointed that they missed when a cold voice spoke out.

 **Authors note: If you want to write criticism I am open about it as long as its constructive. If you have any concerns, you wish to discuss with me please sign in before leaving a review or PM me. Any comments bashing my story or my person from people who refuse to be open about who they are will be deleted. No one is forcing you to read my story or continue reading it if you no longer enjoy it.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry this took so long. I was in a car accident and have been doped up on pain medication for the past week and bit.**

 _Suddenly there was a smoking hole in the wall by my head and my ear was ringing. Someone had tried to shoot me. I barely had time to be disappointed that they missed when a cold voice spoke out._

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

 _ **.**_

 _ *****Bella*****_

"You have two seconds to tell me who you are, who sent you and what you're doing in my room. If you tell me the next bullet will kill you if you don't I'll rip out all your body parts before I kill you." He was going to kill me. I wanted him to. I wanted to die. I turned around.

"No one sent me. I'm here with Alice… Please kill me." The last part was painful whisper. It was my darkest wish. It was also my greatest wish.

"Edward! you crazy Mad man! Did you kill my new best friend?!" I could hear Alice running down the stairs. We were looking into each other's eyes. I could feel him searching into mine. Looking for what, I don't know. I wasn't scared of him. He looked like he would have killed me if Alice wasn't on her way here. I didn't doubt for one second that he would have ripped me to shreds if I didn't tell him what he wanted to hear. He had told me the truth without first trying to hide it.

"Thank God! You're alive! Bella! I was so scared." She grabbed me around the stomach and squeezed me. Her brother and I never broke eye contact. I didn't like being touched, but this was somehow ok because I could keep looking into his eyes. Keep begging for him to end my life.

"Bella sit down! Edward go get her some water! You must be so scared. I'm so sorry. He wasn't supposed to be here. He isn't supposed to shoot my friends. Why were you in here? Did you get lost? Are you crazy? Edward, I told you to go get her some water!" Alice was wiping every part of me down. She was trying to warm me up. She probably thought I was in shock. I had never felt this calm in my whole life. Edward was just standing there staring at me. Alice left to go get me some water I assumed. He crossed the room so fast and had me in the air by neck as soon as Alice was out of the room.

"Who sent you?" He was squeezing so tight I couldn't answer him. I think he heard my answer anyway. I think he saw it in my eyes. My vision was getting spotty. He squeezed harder one last time.

"Stay out of my room. Don't hurt her." Then he was gone. I was left on the bed gasping for air. Alice came back to find me looking for air. She thought it was because I was afraid. She gave me the water.

"I am so sorry Bella. It's ok to be scared. But please don't be. He won't hurt you. He's just very territorial. Bella do you need to go to the hospital? I'll call my dad he'll know what to do. Edwards gone I heard him leave. You don't have to be scared. Please Bella, tell me what you need. Do you want me to drive you home?"

"Alice I'm fine. Really. Lets just go do our project." I could still feel the warmth of his hands around my neck. Every breath I took, I could feel where everyone of his fingers had pressed into my neck. I hadn't minded his touch.

 _ *****Edward*****_

Who the fuck was this girl. She was the first person who I had wanted to kill that didn't beg me for her life. She had wanted me to kill her. Some people asked me to kill them after I started playing, but she wanted to die to die. I could still feel her delicate neck between my figures. Usually when I'm threatening someone, their eyes were filled with fear. Her eyes were filled with anticipation. Her big brown eyes. There was so much debt in them. I spent years studying people's eyes. When I played, people would see the devil in me, their eyes would reflect the hell they were currently in. Her eyes looked like they had seen hell. She looked like she had seen the devil, but that devil wasn't me. She looked at me like I was her savior. I liked that idea. If she asked me again I would kill her. I could be the angel of death as well as the angel of mercy.

I had to get back to Seattle tonight. I had and appointment with some knives. Shit I forgot my knives again. I'll go back and get them later. Maybe I would get to see Bella. She looked like she liked my knives, maybe she would want to play.

 _ *****Bella*****_

I couldn't sleep. I missed the yellow. It had been inside me all week long and now it was gone. I knew I could never get it back. The small part of my mind that was still alive had died last night. My body wanted to join it. What good was a body when the mind was dead. I could hear the sharp knives calling my name. I could hear them begging for me to use them.

I got out of bed. I had left my pajamas at home, so I was just wearing my white camisole. This was the only white clothing I owned. I hadn't bothered to wear white in Arizona, blood stains were hard to get out of white. I tiptoed out of Alice's room. I felt bad for what I wanted to do in Alice's house, but It wasn't enough to stop me. I walked down the stairs and opened the door to Edwards room. Everything was the same. The knives were calling out to me much louder down here.

I go to grab the biggest knife, but a small pairing knife gets my attention instead. I grab the little knife. The steel is so shiny I can see my face clear as any mirror. I didn't recognize the girl starring back at me.I almost don't want to dirty the perfect knife with my blood. I put the knife to my wrist and with barley any pressure it makes me bleed.

The blood is so red. I put my finger to the blood on my wrist and draw a circle on my arm. I could make my last art piece with this blood. I could use my blood as my paint and the floor as my canvas. My dead cold body cold be the center. Charlie would be called in. He would see my body at the same time his partners did. It was so funny. I was laughing out loud. I didn't recognize my own laugh. No longer my face and no longer my laugh. It was time to end this illusion of life.

I put the knife to my skin once more. With more pressure than before I made an upward cut. The blood was spilling everywhere. I switched hands to cut the other side, so I could start my pretty canvas. I was still laughing. I don't think I've ever laughed this much in my whole life. A hand showed up out of nowhere and grabbed my uncut wrist. It startled me. I dropped the knife on the floor.

"What are you doing?" Edward was back. That just made me laugh harder.

"I'm painting a pretty picture for my dad."

"Ok. But why are you doing it in my room? With my knives?" He looked so mad. I don't think he's mad at me for doing it, but because I'm doing it with his things, in his room. I stopped laughing.

"It's cuz I like your room. I got to almost die in here. That's twice now. This is the only place that doesn't feel like a lie. I don't like lies." I could her the hurt in my own voice. My left hand was now covered in the blood from my cut. He was still holding my right hand. I grabbed his face with my bloodied hand.

"Did you lie to me when you said you were going to kill me? I don't like liars"

"If Alice hadn't shown up, you would be dead." He turned his face into my bloody hand. He started to lick along the cut I had made. He was so perfect in what he was doing. I was mesmerized by his actions. My bleeding was starting to slow down a bit. My head was getting lightheaded. I would be able to make my picture.

"Do you want to die Bella?" I nodded my head.

"Please" I was begging him. I lost my strength to do it myself. I wanted him to do it for me.

"I don't lie." He was looking at me so intensely I swear he could see into my soul.

"I know" I stared back at him as intensely.

"You're not going to die tonight." He picked me up bridal style.

"ok" he walked me to a door I hadn't seen before. It was an en-suite bathroom. There was huge clawfoot tube in the corner. There was what looked like a rainfall shower and there were marble countertops. He put me down on the counter and reached above my head. He had gotten a first aid kit. He cleaned up my blood an added butterfly bandages the length of it. He wrapped it in a soft white gauze. He looked me in the eyes. He still had a bloody handprint on his face. He just kept starring. He grabbed the edge of my camisole and lifted it above my head. Without breaking eye contact he reached over his head and took of his t-shirt. He put the t-shirt over my head.

"Arms" I put my arms through the holes. He picks me up bridal style and carries me to his bed. He gets in the bed with me still in his arms and settles us so he is holding me from the back. He folds the blanket over us and closes the lamp on the table. I close my eyes and for the first time in 5 years I don't dream.

 _ *****Edward*****_

I had every intention of killing her if she asked me again. But when I found her laughing and playing in her own blood in my room, I couldn't. never in my 27 years of life had I ever seen such a beautiful broken scene. Never in my life had I ever seen such a beautiful woman. Never in my life had I ever felt like protecting someone as much as I felt like protecting her. I wanted to find whatever or whoever had hurt this beautiful creature and rip it to shreds. I grabbed her blood covered shirt from my back pocket and smelt it. It was the second sweetest smelling thing I had ever smelt. The sweetest was lying in my arms in my bed. I sniffed her head. She smelt like perfection. I never had trouble killing before, she had asked me to do something I do as naturally as breathing. No one I kill every really wants to die, they beg because they want me to stop hurting them.

This woman was hurting. No, this girl was hurting, and she was just a girl, she was Alice's age. She was 10 years my junior if not more but couldn't help feeling the curves that were hidden under my shirt. She looked so peaceful in her sleep. What did she dream about? The times I had seen her she had never looked this peaceful, she had had a tension through her whole body. But in her sleep, it was gone. What a strange creature. Besides wanting Alice to be safe I had never wanted anything for anyone else. I more than wanted her to be peaceful, I wanted to be the one to make her peaceful. I was jealous of her dreams. They got to make her peaceful. Here I was a grown man pouting about a little girl's dreams.

She looked so troubled yet so beautiful laughing at her blood. She told me she was drawing a picture for her dad. I wonder what she would have drawn. Where would she have drawn it? Maybe she was the canvas? She intrigued me like blood and death did. As much as I wanted to know and touch blood I wanted to know and touch Bella.

I could see a bruise start to form on her delicate neck. The bruise I had given her. I could tell where each individual finger touched her neck. I wish I could have held her neck in a different moment, a moment when I wasn't threatening her. I hope she would let me touch it again. The color was beautiful on her skin. The dark blues and purples made her pale skin shine. I wonder if she has a shirt this color. No, it wouldn't be the same. This color couldn't be captured in a simple fabric, it was part of her, it could only be made by her. Maybe she won't wake up if I touch my mark lightly. My mark. I like that. I start to trace the shape of my fingers around her neck. I could so easily wrap my hand around her sweet neck again and grant her wish, but I don't want to. I don't want to see her eyes without life. I could do this every night, fall asleep holding a soft body. Why haven't I ever done this before? I don't like sharing my space. I don't like thinking about another soft body in my hands. I want hers. So, no, not a soft body. I could do this every night holding her soft body.

 _Bang, Bang, BANG_

Who the fuck is knocking on my door so early in the morning? Fucking Alice. Why the fuck is she coming to wake me up at this time? It's like 4 in the morning. I open the door to a fuming Alice. It's kind of hard to take her anger seriously while she is wearing pink matching pajamas, there's little bananas on them too. Ha.

'' You are the worst! I hate you.''

'' I didn't do anything...''

'' She's gone. She left in the middle of the night. You scared away my only friend! Why can't you be normal?''

'' Alice, she-''

'' Don't Alice me. You always do this. I want to go back to dads. He doesn't scare all my friends away. He doesn't try to kill anyone that talks to me! I hate you so much! You ruin everything! I wish someone would just up and kill you!'' She was banging on my chest now. She had tears running down her face. I knew she wouldn't listen to me anymore. I opened the door to my room, so she could see the bed. I grabbed her fists and pointed her in the direction of the bed. That made her stop. We could see Bella in my bed all tangled up in the sheets. She was clearly wearing my shirt. Even though I knew she was wearing it, seeing it all scrunched up around her waist turned me on so much. I wanted to go back to her now.

''She's sleeping here. Go back to bed. You'll get her back in the morning.'' I closed the door in her face before she could say anything else. I went back to the bed. Back to my Bella.


End file.
